IN LOVING MEMORY

[Elissa Gough-Denels]

It is with great sorrow that I share my dearest friend Johnny Dergo passed away in Asheville North Carolina on March 27th 2010 from heart disease.I met Johnny better known as" Dergie" in 1994.He was instrumental in helping me to launch my Company Face Reality Inc believing that Infidelity was an issue important enough and necessary to share with anyone who cared to become more aware of the topic. His goal was to help keep marriages whole and relationships healthy regardless of this most controversial misunderstood social issue. Johnny helped launch facereality.com first in 1994 and infidelitytalk.com quietly grew through the years as its spinoff

Johnny believed in my work and became my cheerleader, co-heart and friend.No job was too tough for him.He was always there to encourage me and to help prepare and launch my information. Dergie believed that my story was necessary,worth sharing and needed to be available for anyone finding themselves in the trenches of infidelity either directly or indirectly. Alcoholism, Drug Abuse and Eating Disorders took center stage then but we both realized the magnitude that Infidelity would play out in the years to come.Today it continues to soar and has become an industry unto itself with no let up in site.

I now plan to spend my time spreading the word sharing my Infidelity Anonymous 12 step support groups written for each part of the love triangle. I created and wrote them several years ago but needed to be a caregiver to my mother for many years while spending my time writing and becoming a published author.

In memory of my loving friend who deeply believed in my work and in me I plan to devote my energy in sharing these 12 step groups more actively.Please view them on infidelitytalk.com and let's help Johnny's belief remain alive to those in need of this service. There were no such groups then so I wrote them and there are none now . I get requests for them daily in various parts of the country.I do believe that Tiger and Jessie would certainly have benefited well from being a part of their 12 Step Group facing their reality as Unfaithful Husbands.

Johnny you will be so very missed. I pray your devotion to me, this issue and the countless hours of work you spent will not be go in vain.God bless you and keep you my loving business partner and friend..

[deirdre mc crudden]

Hi Elissa, I discovered my husbands affair just over a year ago . She contacted him by phone and my son of 23 answered it. You can imagine the impact it had and still has on the family. Apparently, she was a 33yr old Thai nurse whom he worked with, and it had started in 2003 - 2005. It came to an end when she gave him an ultimatum quote "i will stay if theres something to stay for" the rest is history he remained with me. We are trying to work at things but it is very difficult at times I keep thinking that he did'nt give her up she gave him up ,he would've stayed in that relationship if there was no ultimatum from her. Do you think he was just a coward and afraid to commit to her or what? He says that he was never leaving me and the kids, he was in a fantasy world with her and thought ..he needed her for sex that was missing at home and other stuff that was going on in his life that he could talk to her about as he felt he had let me down. These are some of his reasons for cheating . Since the affair was discovered 14 months ago I have found him to be not interested in intimacy much he makes excuses hes tired. Its making me feel that he has made a big mistake coming back to me and that his true feelings lie with her. He tells me i am talking a load of rubbish that the affair should never have happened.She also called him a coward but was glad and thankful he didnt commit as she had met the love of her life in Australia this i discovered at the time on his phone. Elissa would appreciate your comments on my thinking at this time. thanks Deirdre